Locked Hearts and Hand Grenades {Monorhyme Rondel}

by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex   May 13, 2007


Lock your hearts and man the hand grenades,
Forget love, put your heart to these raids.
We will burn down the town as the light fades,
Pressed to the ground where you are now laid.

Be skeptical now, or you will get aids,
So many he has in them he must wade.
Lock your hearts and man the hand grenades,
Forget love, put your heart to these raids.

Burn down his every dream where his head he laid,
It is not worth it with his nasty aids.
So let us burn down his new town with many raids
And forget any love when the night fades.
Lock you r hearts and man the hand grenades.
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A French form consisting of 13 lines: two quatrains and a quintet, rhyming as follows:
ABba abAB abbaA. The capital letters are the refrains, or repeats.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by aDORKable x3

    Interesting mix of the styles, Monorhyme and Rondel. I liked this one.. I knew as soon as I saw the title in one of the contests that you would choose it. I don't know why, but you seem to do all these crazy titles that I could never write about, but you seem to pull them together and do it beautifully. Thanks for entering and congratulations on second place again! :]

  • 17 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    Ohhh I LOVE this style too! I haven't seen this style before, but I think you managed it wonderfully.
    The imagery used created vivid pictures, and I thought the flow was flawless throughout.

  • 17 years ago

    by Robert

    You seem to do stanza quite well and thats good most poets have a hard time. I myself have issues on thiat point. But the message was abit off I think you were against the whole love thing but thats what I got out of it oh well maybe you will get it next time. Plot121

  • 17 years ago

    by Biscuit

    Good opening line because of the assonance with 'man' and 'hand', you've also used assonace again with 'down' 'town' and 'ground' which helps the flow of the poem.

    the reference to aids seems to be a bit random,apart from rhyming it doesn't seem to give anything to the poem...
    and i dont understand this line: 'So many he has in them he must wade.'

    apart from these things the rhyming and the repeated lines work really well, so overall: strong beginning and end, adn a good structure, just a couple of things in the middle which im not too sure of :)

    kim xx

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