You have such a knack of portraying the real life struggles and hurdles and write so fluidly, the reader can almost imagine the scene and see it being played out in front of them..
Fabulous write
5/5
*gem*

Angry? Frusterated? I'm not sure. I'm not sure if this is about you. You're only thirty-five, right? Anyways, tons of emotion in there. Lots of imagery and super description. Maybe just work on your rhymes. There's some really cool rhyming websites out there (maybe that's cheating, but w/e) that give you tons and tons of them.

All in all, you did good job on this piece, it is realistic and it contains a lot of emotions.
I don't like non- original rhymes because they ruin the impression for me. I prefer deep, metaphorical poetry, this is just not my taste.

Great work,came from theheart
keep it up!

Real good job, loved the vocab you used in this one xxx alex xxx

I enjoyed the emotion you put into this.
I liked how you conveyed real life struggles here, and I'm sure so many people will be able to relate to this write.

On the whole, beautifully written.