Memories of a father

I thought you were coming back,
Then I found out I wouldnt ever see you again
You let me think it was my fault for years,
But it never was; now I know what you did behind my back
You have left me scared, afraid and without trust,
I never want to see you again,
But I know I must
No matter how much help from friends, family and psychologists I got,
Deep down inside I knew these wounds would never heal
You have left my heart abandoned and empty,
Even still with no room for anyone else
How I wish that you would come back,
At the same time praying you wont
Lost memories dwell in the back of my head,
Me, hoping they will never come back to haunt me
All of this is your fault