Omg!!.....Beautifully written touching and powerful peice!...short...but soo powerful!!........Perfect!....Good job!.. |
by Robert
Intresting twist on an old classic it was good, the flow was abit off but good for a attempt Plot121 |
This is good. is it an excerpt or something you made up. anaway it is really good.5/5 |
This was very different.. however I still really liked it. I really liked how you kept it short and inserted your own thoughts and feelings in the lines in between. Made it very unique a refreshing twist on the traditional. The only thing I have to critique on is to make sure that all of the i's are capitalized.. I know its just a tiny thing but it drives me crazy. Nice work. You are definatly one of the best poets on here, extremely underrated and I hope that you continue writing, cause your work astoundes me. |
by Melpomene
This poem was short but purely beautiful. The emotion seemed so deep and capturing from the first line onwards I couldn't tear myself away from this nicely penned poem. This is beautiful so amazed. Well done~mel |
by Startle Me
To be brutally honest with you, dearest |
Hm. Not as good as the other one, but it's not bad. Just not my taste. The flow was off and so was the rhyming.. |
Hmm.. this is your take on a childs prayer. i thought it was very good.. Although i dont think i could part with the old way.. this is a fresh new outlook on it.. The flow was really good. i admire someone who can take something old and freshin it up.. lol anyway 5/5.. |
by StormyStar
I loved how different it was.. you writting is so amazing and you are so talented and i love how touching your work is. lol. keep writting. i want to read more. lol. |
I think that this should be in dark poems catagory |
by Cella Bella
I like how you kept this short. It's almost like a "read between the lines" of a simple prayer. Although with it being a child's prayer, it's rather dark/morbid, and put's me on the sad side. However, it's a great poem, and it made me feel something. That's always an important part for a reader. 5/5 |
Amen, this is great dear, I loved this piece and I thank you for writing this one. Great indeed. The word choice is simple and very effective. 5/5 with lots of love |
Once again short but very powerful, your words are hard hitting and true. The flow was once again great and most people can relate to the prayor. Excellent job 5/5 GG23 |
by Nix
To be honest I don't like this one, I don't love prayers and I like just three lines of this poem: |
by Void
Well, I might as well come out and say it. I don't mean to, but I do pay attention to grammar. I used to be horrible at it, and I still have some issues with it; thus, in my attempt to better my knowledge of it, alot of my attention is focused on grammatical errors. |
by Lonely Rider
Ohh so beautiful... such wonderful lines... |
by H E Losey
Does the word "PLAGIARISM" happen to have a meaning here? |
by My Mistakes
Intersting.....it was well writtin, i like it. so you know...you poem made me fell like qustioning the reality of god....dont think thats what you were aiming for but thats how i felt |
by Tara Kay
This was really good, so short yet spirited and sweet. Shows alot of simplistic emotion that children feel. |