TO BE WITH THE ONE I LOVE!

I feel it slide in just a tiny bit,
Feel the warm rush as the blade tears the skin.
I pull it across and tear a bit more,
then fall back on the pillow, i reopened the sore.

i lie on my bed and feel my wrists pulse,
it feels so familiar as i never stopped.
I was doing so well i felt healthy again,
but I'm just a girl, can only handle so much pain.

Everyone has their own story to tell,
i know there are those who have gone through worse than i.
I admire them and their strength not to quit,
but is the only way that i can deal with it.

My mind is a jumble its constantly busy,
not enough rest and too much heartbreak.
I just wished for relief and i wished for calm,
then i looked down, i had the scissors in my palm.

I don't know how but it allows me to relax,
its so easy to do to forget my torment.
I become an expert on how to disguise,
and i become even quicker with my lies.

I feel the energy begin to leave me,
and i know in time i may be well be dead.
I feel the blood pulse, i cut too deep,
this time i pray they leave me to sleep.

I close my eyes ad shut out the world,
i feel myself slipping and i ,let myself go.
Then slowly i begin to feel cold,
yes i know this, Ive experienced it before.

Suddenly my eyes fly open,
i sit up in bed.
My wrists have old scars but not recently bled,
there are no scissors here and i am not dead.

It was just a dream, it was all in my mind,
something trying to tempt me to let it all go.
Give up the fight, accept defeat and give in,
No, i swear i will never do that to my family again.

My life was wonderful, but in recent yeas hard,
I'm scared to go on but i promise ill survive.
My lover, my friend i miss you every day,
we will meet again just not today.

**FIRST ONE IN A WHILE - I'M STILL HERE, JUST BUSY** PLEASE VOTE OR COMMENT - OR BOTH - I APPRECIATE THEM ALL, TAKE CARE**

Kelly
xx