West Side Story

by dollwithafrown   May 15, 2007


Six 8-year-old children look on in despair,
As one of their friends lies naked and bare.
His body his tortured, his soul disappeared;
This was the one thing that everyone feared.

They live in a town, which is broken and scarred;
Glass, drugs, and needles cover all the backyards.
Junkies in the daytime, junkies during the night,
Never does a day pass, without an angry fight.

Their clothes are all dirty, their hair is a mess.
Where are the parents? That's anyone's guess!
They want a little love, they want a little care,
Yet they'll never complain about life being unfair.

A town in the west, forgotten and lost;
One step out of line: a child pays the cost.
It happens almost weekly, someone in this place dies,
Every time this happens, hundreds more people cry.

Do you know how they feel? Can you see in their eyes?
If you don't understand, then please just try:
Listen to their words, they don't want any glory.
They just want someone to hear this west side story.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by George

    Wow...intense...so different from the other one I read but just as good! Once again, great images, only difference was it was quite as emotional for me. Still another great work though!

  • 17 years ago

    by Vanessa

    This was well written the flow was flawless, and the emtion was really strong, the imagey was great, I could almost see it playing out in my head. perfect. 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Ash

    Great job! i liked this a lot...

    :)

  • 17 years ago

    by Startle Me

    First stanza?
    Flow was okay.
    Although...
    It was eye catching.
    Made me want to read more.
    [[Glasses]], drugs[[,]] and needles cover all the backyards.
    Shouldn't it be glasses?
    And after drugs... you forgot to put a comma.
    Yet they'll never complain about life being unfair.
    You chose words of wisdom.
    I love this line.
    Your fourth stanza seemed a bit off.
    To me, it wasn't as good as your other stanzas.
    I don't like your ending for some reason.
    It just seemed... expected.
    Like for some reason I knew you were going to end with that.
    What I felt about it?
    I felt as though that you tried and failed to make it powerful.
    You tried, though.
    I could tell.
    But I just didn't have any emotional feelings after that.
    Maybe I'm just cold blooded.
    I'm sorry if I have been too harsh :[
    I'm going to vote a 4/5..
    I won't right now, you may not want it.
    If you do, PM me.
    For right now,
    Peace, dearest :]

  • 17 years ago

    by I Will Always Be A Victim Of These Streets

    This is really good! I used to live on the west side and it anit very good there!

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