Ohhhh I frikken adore this!
Original and unique (like all your work =) ) and I loved the concept behind the lyrics.
I actually only read this because I wasn't sure which one you wanted me to read or if you wanted me to read both haha, but now I am definitely glad I did!
Flow is flawless throughout, and I found the imagery very vivid.
My favourite part was the last line, I thought it was beautifully done, and it inspires hope.

A melody's crying, the music's dying,
Can you hear their sad, sad song?
They've lost all prayers, yet off they stare,
Into the heavens where hope belongs.

[Verse 1] Above caught my attention straight up, The words smooth and ran nicely throughout the whole verse.

This whole poem had my attention from start to finish it had a nice flow and i found it really quick to read with a melody flowing throughout my mind. I'd love to hear this made into a song you honestly do have the talent for song writing. The words seemed to be so powerful which really caught me in. The title well that was quite interesting and caught my eye from the start also. The emotions were strong and held deeply in each line which i found to be quite amazing. Sheena i really can't find anything to say thats wrong with this poem. The imagery spectacular i loved the images that were painted in my head from your wrd choice. The vocab was great yet again throughout your poems i found this to be unique and enjoyable to read. Well done with this nicely penned song. ~mel

Hmm i think its same w/ the lyric of carrie underwood ( jesus takes the wheel) i love that song actually!...

.....very inspiring words all that u put in here, i like the lyrics it really decribed so well and it really express all the the lines word by word are very clear! it has a great melody of a song even i dont know hot to sing this lyrics? i thougth it was awesome coz i understand over that i has a great message to everyone.. and specially about jesus and it really powerful.... execellent job keep it up!5/5

All and all this was a very uplifting poem and if I were a religious man I would tell you how well you portaried the love you have for gGod and his son but saddly I am not but good write anyway Plot121

Well, it was a fast read....sorta...In my head, I was trying to put a melody to this song and a rythm as to how it would be sang, depending on the type of music(I heard country) depends on the pace and breaths in the song. My suggestion would be to either make it visible where the breaths are or tell your reader what type of music it is. Now, i am not usually the "jesus" type but I did enjoy the read, it was very nice, not quite sure how it pertained to life though, other than letting yourself accept jesus and to let him guide you....I guess that's the point...well, good read over all. 5/5

Absolutely stunning. I don't normally read lyrical poetry but the title kind of pulled me along. Anyways, good use of words..the flow was great, nice message too. =D

5/5

I'll write this as I read.
But the very first stanza is beautiful.
I found one flaw in there,
It annoyed me because I shouldn't have seen it.
But still, it was...
Can you hear their [[sad, sad]] song?
You should erase one of the sad in there
And replace it with a synonym or something.

I love your hook, UGH! It's beautiful.
I understand why you love this so much.

There's hope left in this place -- I can tell when I look at your face.
I feel much safer now that you're here.
And although we cry, it gives me hope that we can try.
And move on from old memories that bring tears.

It feels like those are all just clumped up together.
It just sounded wrong to me for some reason.
You know when someone's reading in school
And they're talking too fast because they're nervous?
Thats how it sounded to me.

Just let Jesus hold the wheel is a great ending.
It's dramatic but not so dramatic.
I know it's weird.
But I found this song beautiful.
You should write more of them and give me tips.
Lol.
But still, 5/5?

I think this song was great...it is one of your best....

OMG this is so nice. I am religious so i feel this poem is so true and real. I would love to hear it in a song. Even it is already a song. Which you probably know. But seriously nice work. Well Done. 5/5 ^_^

Wow normally I HATE reading songs because without the music I cant really get into them but this one I really liked. It was a very religious song though, and thats another reason is suprised me because I normally dont like those either. But amazing job and creating a chorus that made sence every time it was repeated. Nice job. and I loved the angel talks.