Signal Of Spring And Summer

by Robert   May 16, 2007


The bugs and flying things herd around this thing,
A sole lone solder built up of yearly wood rings.
A mass of long arms that seem to stretch out for a mile,
holding the sun out like it was on trial.
A formidable piece of work this sentinel can be,
hidden with in its branches is a land some will never see.
Coddled in its arms is life abundant as the rooted land,
but you would have to venture beyond you own grown to understand.
Chirps of Birds and long leaves then bend and sway,
Give movement to the wind each and every day.
This is the life of a willow that grows stronger with each passing day,
and a single that spring and summer is on its way.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    I like the way you wrote this poem without
    giving away too much till the end. The images
    you drew are very good.
    Take care.

  • 16 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    "The bugs and flying things herd around this thing,"
    `This line was a bit confusing, loll. I think that thing(s) shouldn't have been used twice in the first line together.. it was confusing!

    "A sole lone solder built up of yearly wood rings."
    `Thanks for clarifying what that "thing" is!

    "A mass of long arms that seem to stretch out for a mile,"
    `Loved this line. I loved how you said that they seemed to stretch out for a mile, such sarcasm!

    "A formidable piece of work this sentinel can be,"
    `Great word choice! Formidable, sentinel..:]

    "but you would have to venture beyond you own grown to understand."
    `you should be your? the second one...
    `grown.. ground? i'm not sure. i'm thinking you made a typo.

    "Chirps of Birds and long leaves then bend and sway,"
    `birds should be uncaptiolized
    `then should be that?
    `great imagery however in this line. so well done.

    "This is the life of a willow that grows stronger with each passing day,
    and a single that spring and summer is on its way."
    `strong strong ending.

    Overall, unique write! You don't really know what this object or thing is til the end.. but I adored the way you wrote it. It is truly a signal that spring and summer are on their way. :]
    5/5.

  • 16 years ago

    by Finalgravedigger

    Sadly i wish i could see this in real life, but i did get a nice picture however around the middle it was kinda hard to keep my attention but i did like your poem.

  • 16 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    This is.. beautiful. Your word choice was stunning. I found nothing seriously wrong with the piece. My only suggestion, and it's more of a personal preference, is I think it would be easier to read had it been written in four line stanza or two line couplets or something along those. But, it was still a great piece to read, and I'm glad I did.
    :]

    Five out of five. [5/5]

    ``Briana

  • 16 years ago

    by x Mo x

    Last line, did you mean "signal" instead of "single"? and second line, is "solder" supposed to be "soldier"? maybe not. *shrugs*

    Good poem though! I liked the imagery. It reminded me of the woods here in the late spring early summer. I could almost feel the breeze and feel everything. Good work! Keep it up!

    -mo-

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