Comments : Signal Of Spring And Summer

  • 16 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    The imagery in this poem is outstanding and the flow is flawless. You seem to have developed a style

  • 16 years ago

    by Blissful

    Loved the imagery here .. it completed the poem and made it much more of a joy to read. Your choise of words were flawless and this piece was overall beauitful. Well done *5/5*

  • 16 years ago

    by The Queen

    The bugs and flying things herd around this thing,
    ^^ OK.. I would suggest the word thing shouldn’t be mentioned twice in just one line..

    But you would have to venture beyond you own grown to understand.
    ^^ I think you meant your not you

    Chirps of Birds and long leaves then bend and sway,
    ^^ Birds should not be capitalized.

    I would also prefer if it was written by stanzas for it would be easily to read and understand..

    Overall, I loved how you epitomized the serenity of the scene. It made me close my eyes for a while and enjoyed the wonderful view this poem has and I could somehow smell the special scent from the mountains notifying me of the coming spring and summer..Very descriptive this poem was for you have used excellent choice of words..They say there is nothing to calm you down except the beauty of the nature which is true..I felt somehow relax after reading this piece..

    Great Job..xDD

  • 16 years ago

    by x Mo x

    Last line, did you mean "signal" instead of "single"? and second line, is "solder" supposed to be "soldier"? maybe not. *shrugs*

    Good poem though! I liked the imagery. It reminded me of the woods here in the late spring early summer. I could almost feel the breeze and feel everything. Good work! Keep it up!

    -mo-

  • 16 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    This is.. beautiful. Your word choice was stunning. I found nothing seriously wrong with the piece. My only suggestion, and it's more of a personal preference, is I think it would be easier to read had it been written in four line stanza or two line couplets or something along those. But, it was still a great piece to read, and I'm glad I did.
    :]

    Five out of five. [5/5]

    ``Briana

  • 16 years ago

    by Finalgravedigger

    Sadly i wish i could see this in real life, but i did get a nice picture however around the middle it was kinda hard to keep my attention but i did like your poem.

  • 16 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    "The bugs and flying things herd around this thing,"
    `This line was a bit confusing, loll. I think that thing(s) shouldn't have been used twice in the first line together.. it was confusing!

    "A sole lone solder built up of yearly wood rings."
    `Thanks for clarifying what that "thing" is!

    "A mass of long arms that seem to stretch out for a mile,"
    `Loved this line. I loved how you said that they seemed to stretch out for a mile, such sarcasm!

    "A formidable piece of work this sentinel can be,"
    `Great word choice! Formidable, sentinel..:]

    "but you would have to venture beyond you own grown to understand."
    `you should be your? the second one...
    `grown.. ground? i'm not sure. i'm thinking you made a typo.

    "Chirps of Birds and long leaves then bend and sway,"
    `birds should be uncaptiolized
    `then should be that?
    `great imagery however in this line. so well done.

    "This is the life of a willow that grows stronger with each passing day,
    and a single that spring and summer is on its way."
    `strong strong ending.

    Overall, unique write! You don't really know what this object or thing is til the end.. but I adored the way you wrote it. It is truly a signal that spring and summer are on their way. :]
    5/5.

  • 16 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    I like the way you wrote this poem without
    giving away too much till the end. The images
    you drew are very good.
    Take care.