by The Pessimistic Peabody May 16, 2007
category :
Life, society /
other
This ball and chain |
Oh wow, this was amazing. It was dark and cynical, and I loved the ending. It ended in a somewhat hopeless despairing note, which keeps the readers wondering. |
Awesome..perfect..lol..chilling effect..great use of powerful words n the way u've penned it out is superb!!**Smiles**..excellent description..i had like a clear visual...good wrk!5/5 |
by Brittany C
I liked this one. You used great descriptions and I could picture everthing in my head. I gave it a five ou of five. |
by Vanessa
Chilling, I like the word choice it is very descrptive, and the emtion is strong, keep up the good work, 5/5 |
This poem made me think. I like poems which make me do that. Your vocabulary was really brilliant hear. The discription creates good imagery. I liked your usage of alliteration in this poem with, "so slowly" this made it acctualy in the mind seem to slow down as well. The pace of the poem slows down hear.. "slow steady" this repetiiton also does the same thing to me. In the last 3 stanza's i like how youve got this idea of this snake slithering. I loved it, kinda like a metaphor in your words i guess. The ending was really thoughtprovoking, i mean you worry it doesnt exist. I think its like osmething we can all relate to in a little bit. And i liked how you wrote it like this. To improve i suggest you use a more varied punctuation. Other then that a great read. Keep it up! xx |