You'll Find Me Broken

Wow. I really enjoyed reading this. (btw sorry im getting to you so late, I got into a go-kart accident and tore some muscle and its hard to type and i havent been on as much. my friend is typing for me).
The beginning was a little weak I will admitt but as I read on I noticed your unique writing vocabulary. I notice that about allot of people and I typically will say that bc everyones is different, buit some are better then others and I did enjoy it. What I mean byy vocabulary style is that most people use the same words when they talk. They all have their different sets of exaples and ways of understanding, and poetry is the best way to express that. You did well here. I am talking about the second stanza the most when you used the metaphor as well an example with the "God's Rain, and tall grass". It is has a variety of translations into someones mind leaving them to wonder. What I truly loved the most about this piece was the ending. You stated it so perfectly. It just moved me. Very inspiring. You also have great rhythm. I cannot find anything really wrong with this piece and my friend is sick of typing so I am going to say thank you for the comment and good bye.

sincerely

~skittles

God bless

Very powerful. I like how you said 'shush now' almost as though you chiding a young child. it added an interesting touch.

"So shush now and go home
Leave your words unspoken
But if by chance you find me again
You'll only find me broken"

That last stanza was soo beautiful yet so heartbreaking...
It painted such a bittersweet pictute..
You have such talent for tapping into these emotions sweets
5/5
*Gem*

WOW! Now, your second to last stanza lacked the flow the rest had, but overall it was amazing. Great beginning, middle and end. My fav lines were...

It helps to look for God's rain
To lose yourself in tall grass

That was neat!
Charisma*

Loved it, could feel the emotion

5/5 from me!

<3
Sarah