This was good, I liked it. It Rhymed and flowed good, except the long lines were kinda too much but it still went with it. Ok the word 'rub' I dont think you should use that its too.....I dont know but I think you should like touch or something rather than 'rub'. Other than that it was very good for a first try, I'm assuming. Keep it up!

Thank you for your comment.. and your time on reading it.
its a song by (tamia).
i put that on my account just because i couldent put it better my self, she said it all in that song..

i've read some of your work and i must say, pretty impressing..
keep doing you thing, and stay true to youself.