Oh this is so sad, but you choice of words is absolutely peferct and sets the tone very well.

Jeannie
This is such a sad write. The imagery and word choices are great. I read this on the main boards yesterday. You did a excellent job. Very heartfelt.

Angel wings
with feather tips
Singed with sorrow
by moistened lips

This stanza really stuck in my mind.
Excellent!
Take care Cindy