Questioning god

From a long day I collapse
From the warning signs, of my arm designs
Seems they never had a propose
Tires fill my eyes soak my pillow, till theres not a spot left dry
I kneel down at the side of my bed and look up,
As a new born baby would look at there new found mom,
And said, why,
Whyd u pick me god, out of all the rest of my brothers and sisters that day,
Whyd u keep me god, and not that miscarried, there could have been the next Malcolm, Parks or Mandela,
Why it is that you let some thought then take away there lives so young,
Is it because the lord giveth, the lord taketh,
And if so doesnt that make you wrong,
Why is it that people say Im wrong for questioning you for what u havent done for me to day, isnt that why you gave us free will, so we can question who and what we are today, Why is it that I have to hide the fact that Im made at you, why should I fell ashamed, Why is it that if in foot steps you carry me, your steps arent deeper from the weight of me, And why is it that life is so short and death so long, is it because this is hell that Im living, or has that not yet begun,
And what would we have to do be guarantee a spot in heaven,
Follow your words, never sin
If so, I guess where all not getting in,
So why, questioning god, a christen rule of what not to do,
Quiz is though pass the test back, fail or pass; I will be cool with you,
Naw... thats a lie better pass, because Im finding it hard to be true to you...