One cold smile, a fatal kiss
Forever took his life of bliss
The vampire has revenged her tears
The insane girl forever cheers

..Beautiful lines....perfect choice of words.it flowed well too...n i soo loved your choice of words n the emotions u've portrayed thru this poem...Great write!
Kp writing!

xxPoojaxx

I don't like the word "look"
It's probably just me... sorry.
Try to find a synonym for it.
For example: See.
I found this kind of funny.
In a very ironic way...
I love the term vampire.
We, poems-and-quotes, rarely use them.
All in all.
It was a well read, m'dear.
5/5?

It had a good flow =]

One cold smile, a fatal kiss
Forever took his life of bliss
The vampire has revenged her tears
The insane girl forever cheers
This has to be my favorite part. I love the word choice, and the emtion is clear. You did a great job on this one, a little diffrent, I like that.

I really like the theme of this poem!

Nice work!

Josie

Wow, beautiful, loved the theme, very unique, loved the darkness in it,

One cold smile, a fatal kiss
Forever took his life of bliss
The vampire has revenged her tears
The insane girl forever cheers
^Definetly my favorite part! Great job!

The insane girl forever cheers
[[This line seems as if it were just for the rhyme.]]

Otherwise.
Kudos, to you. This, although a cliche topic, was written nicely.
I really enjoyed reading; rhyming wasn't too cliche which is always excellent.
Nicely done.

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex 5.5

Wow. really awesome. even the title drew me in. my lines were :
Look at her heart, feel the pain
Look at her mind, she's insane

the symbolism in those lines is amazing. that you can look at her heart, and then feel her pain. truly moving.
good job!

*favorite lines. not my lines. sorry.

DUDE I LOVE YOUR POEM!! it is so cool my sucks compared to yours!! =O

Amazing poem, excellently written. Keep up the fantastic work. Check out some o my poems.

Best Wishes
Wallace

I really like this one, its great! keep up the good work :D

<3~Shelly

Nice poem.Very dark poetry. 5/5.

Very well written. This could be interpreted either darkly or lesson-giving. Definitely a 5.

Wow! i luv the flow ov tha poem and the ending has a nice touch! keep it up :)

There are soo many good things about this poem!! to name a few i love the title, and the unexpected change of the girl from good to bad.
peace

A great poem! Flow was good I like the theme of this poem! well done. and thanks agian for the comment :) I enjoyed reading this one!

I love the title by the way! its really catchy!

This definately deserves to go into my favourites, this poem again is brilliantly written, well done, xxo

The middle was a bit shaky but ot was still really good.

quick question did HE turn her or someone else. if it was someone else then why seek revenge on HIM? if it was HIM how would she turn HIM?

ok so not so quick.
good poem lovely read
(~:Sam Mayo:~)

:D
This is probably the best poem I've read today. And, I think it's more because it has the revenge in it. It's something nine out of ten people want on the person who hurt them or broke their heart. It's just easy to relate to with a great flow and amazing emotion. :]

5/5