This was great nice job

The beginning was great, it just sort of died a little after

Seem to always grow sappy.

that line. It seemed forced and cheesy. From there on it seemed like you were trying to hard to rhyme and get your message across. Sometimes just let things flow and fix them later. The word dissapate is a good word, but you over-used it. Hope I don't sound harsh, I just like to give people constructive criticism, because that's what I would want them to give me.

Oh very...Good..just love the way u express..if u have time ..stop by my poems..and comment plz..

-sarah

I like this one,,the flow was good, it is nicely penned , beautiful poem of love and broken heart!.....5/5..Melody...=)

Good job.beautifully written.a great poem about a broken heart.