If He Knew I Loved Him...

If he knew I loved him,
If he knew how much I constantly missed him,
If he knew he sparked the fire in my eyes,
He would just hate me back.

If he saw me smiling just for him,
If he saw my look of utter desperation,
He would return it with a cold, ruthless glare.

If I confessed my feelings for him,
He would tell me that he just thinks I'm shit.

If I ever reached out to him,
He would only slap me.
Hurling through the most forbidden depths of my mind,
The pain would swim
Through my veins,
Down my arms,
Up my neck,
Into my face.

But the bruises would swell up
At the surface of my mind,
The scars would condense
Into the walls of my heart...

...And so,
Every waking night,
I lift my hands,
Praying,
For these chained feelings
To be set free.