Maybe you should add in a quotation
In the "do this" and "do thats"
Get your life on track seems pretty
Random.
Staring
It's starring, dearest :]
What does a little extra grey mean, exactly?
I'm a bit curious :P
All in all, it was pretty good.
Your format wasn't great
And so was your spelling.
But I felt raw emotion from this.
All in all, I give you a 4 :]
I really really liked this poem.. especially the lines..
"So I'm tired of all the yes'
And tired of all the no's
This isn't the life I want
This isn't the life I chose"
I agree with everything in your poem.. great job.. keep it up and thanks for the comment =]