I was cursed when my mother conceived me; never completely alive, can't feel the hate in you, but eye see it. Tell me why eye cry. Eye can't stop when someone tells me to just smile. Eye always want to die, but too scared to get deep enough, for my end will be through strength.
When eye die is so unknown to me. Eye can't concentrate anymore; just pray for me to be o.k. and pray for me to stay alive long enough to die. That's all eye need.
Life is so uncertain and that eats me everyday. The way it eats at my head is almost getting licked to death by a dog. Starting to lick your entire body and then licking through flesh until all that is left is bone and some ligaments. Licked to death... So could eye die today, tomorrow...when? Eye'll never know.
Eye will never forget the day I did nothing but lay in bed awake, crying for my soul because it had been devoured by a demon. Nothing went back to how it was before that day. Eye can't remember what my life was like before then. It's probably better this way.
Silly little me, always suffering. Why can't anyone know the truth of torturous misery? Which hurts you more for you: mental pain or physical pain? My mental pain makes my physical pain not hurt, just happen too often.
What if eye died on all those sleepless nights eye cried, just not survived; how many people would have cared? My thoughts can't stop chewing at my tissue, tendons and fat. My brain will never make up it's mind and that puts me through constant anxiety.
The main thing that makes me disgusted at myself, is how hard it has to be for me to get people like me. Better yet, just talk to me. Don't have many friends, no boyfriends, everyone just despises me and no one can except me for me. Eye'm sorry if eye'm too ugly for you to look at. Maybe a paper bag over my head would be a good idea so no one would have to deal with my dark glare cursing everything in sight and in the direction of other people's eyes penetrating their soul.
But eye promise eye would never hurt a fly unless it f-ed with me first. Eye'm gentile, sweet as hell, and will do anything for someone who can handel being around me. Sadly, as long as your alive, you can love me; but, fear me when your the one eye'm mad at. Especially when eye get red. Yikes!
One thing in life that no one should ever forget about or overlook is that every action done; every word said; and, every kiss felt is just something else you're going to regret. Unless you have found your soul mate.
Sometimes eye can taste the pain in my heart. Eye want to hate me harder by hurting a little worse physically, but I can't even hide the damage on me eye've already done. Doing this for almost 15 years, what a sick child. Eye'm only 20.
But how can eye love me when no one else does? That's the most rebellious thing eye do...eye live so the world can hate me. Why am eye my own worst enemy?
