I'm trapped within [[his]] hollow hell
That doesn't sound right.
Do you mean "this"?
Try to refrain yourself from using articles, conjunctions, and pronouns.
They're just unnessesary add-ons.
I believed his lies,
Telling myself it was
with him I would survive.
Not thinking with him,
I would surely die.
That's just really weird to me.
Really cliched.
This should belong in dark poems.
I didn't realy like this poem
All that much.
I'm going to have to give you a 3/5.
Sorry, dearest.
I'm not going to vote.
If you want me to.
PM me and I will. :]

I liked this poem, even the part that is a little cliche is well written, I love the word choice and the emtion is strong, the flow was flawless, I think you did an excellent job 5/5

I loved it. 5/5!

Aww, this was a great poem! I totally agree with EndOfTheBeginning, the wording was great, there was imagery... passion...vivid feelings... it was great, a little bit of everything. :) Wonderful Job! Keep up the writing m'dear, you've really got a talent for it. :)

Much love and care!

Great poem with an awesome flow and beautiful rhymes. Its really catching. Keep it up

I'm trapped within his hollow hell
Locked within this empty cell.

Nice lines

There were a lot of great lines in this one that really stood out. Although the line "Not thinking with him" is kind of wierd. For the most part you kept a great flow throughout this piece. 5/5

marcella

Excellent poem! The imagery was amazing... I could picture everything... it's very good... definatly a 5/5! Very good at describing pain... I especially like these lines:

I'm trapped within his hollow hell
Locked within this empty cell.
He had the key to my heart,
But instead he left it chained with bars.

Very well written and flow was good too! :-) Take care...5/5!