Awww. i can totally ppicture it happening. that was really cute. im gunna go read more of these.

5/5.

Thats awesome and totally deep. You rock Danielle.

I liked this, it made sense when i read it for the second time, i think it's well written, but the layout was confusing.
Although i liked the concept and wording.
love Tara-Kay

I liked this.. Very differnt thing to write about.. Different format.. I think you did a wonderful job on this.. I think the flow was really good to.. 5/5.. P.S. i look forward to reading the rest..

Hey,
oooh I so like this one, I haven't read any poems like these so i will continue to read the rest, I love your choice of words and i enjoyed reading it. 5/5
kisses stephanie

Hmm this is something very different.. but i like it alot! its a new concept you've chosen because i havnt seen others like this and you have started off really well..so keep it up! it really meaningful, i can relate, so that satisfies me =] 5/5, higher if i could.
xx

Diffrent, but diffrent is good. I really liked this point of veiw you have used and the word choice is amazing, the emtion was clear, and strong. I am on my way to read more, please don't stop here. 5/5

Hah...I love this idea! Couldn't have come at a better time for me either...wonderful, emotional, cant wait to read the rest!

"If it wouldn't be [too] much trouble,"

My apologies for being rather nit-picky there, it's just that the word 'to' caught my attention. :) In any case, I'll reiterate what the other ten reviewers have stated, you've got an interesting idea coming up which I find promising in the near future. Allegorically, the heart and the mind are synonymous with each other. But what's interesting to note in your poem is that it speaks of a battle between the intellect and the emotion[al]. Very nice work, I dare say. X) Debbie

Could you stop hurting so much??
That seemed a bit overused.
Maybe not you necessarily.
But I don't know, I guess I just don't like that part.
Maybe you could reword it?

Try to find another word for pain.
I hear the word too much.
Maybe not from you.
But from... other people.

It's affecting the way my eyes see the world
I have to admit.
That was a pretty darned good line :P

All in all, it wasn't as amazing as I thought it would be.
It was just... quite average.
Then again,
I realize that if should get the whole message,
I'm going to have to read the whole thing.
So... Mind if I do it later? I have to go.
Peacez :]

Great poem. I think it would be better if you put it into stanazs. but very well written!!!!!!!! 5/5

~Chelsea~