Predicting only pain

Every little action I take has to be planned

Ever thing I see must be accounted

So taxing and exhausting

Habitually judging and predicting

Every events possible outcome

So often does she ask how come?

Why do I do it? I can't stop

my mind is stuck after the flop

unable to leave things be

unable to even let myself be free

I damn others I free no one

I am helpful but with nothing won

I give the truth but its no better then lies

Now in pain but no tears in my eyes

My soul has gone numb

From predicting only scum

Never do I see events as good

Does that itself damn what could?

Or was the outcome certain?

Or is all I see just a false curtain?