A Schizophrenic Can Fall Too

by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex   May 25, 2007


If you knew the story you'd understand just how f'ing GOOD that felt to get out. Woo!
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They're acting as if a failure will bring the schizophrenic down,
But really he's just like us, all you need to do is push him to the ground.
He'll fall on his face like the music falls from the musical sheet,
There's singing in the air speaking of your abuse and my pathetic retreat.

Oh, dear could this be true, like religion it's all a lie,
You fed me deceit like a too good desert that we eat too much and learn to despise.
We told the mind with such devilish lies that it was alright to be insane,
But you don't recover from a night just like this and it feels like you have to explain.

It's choking me up, the reason that I breathed, it's all going by so fast,
But just as quickly as you switch moods, the feelings come back and pass.
There's so little to lose, and I'm sure I'm the one winning;
There is no starting over, there is no new beginning.

And if you fall, this time I won't pick you up; you deserve to be down there,
I'm missing you, but I don't mind; I can finally breathe fresh air.
And maybe no one deserves to fall, but perhaps I think you do,
You've been the worst thing that happened to me; even worse than the devil, it's true.

They're acting as if a failure will the bring the schizophrenic down,
But really he's just like us, all you need to do is push him to the ground.
He'll fall on his face like the music falls from the musical sheet,
There's singing in the air speaking of your abuse and my pathetic retreat.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Cedric

    One Word. Wow! I Loved It From The Beginning Until The End, Really Nice Writting Though .. Keep Working, I Really Like Your Poems .. :)

  • 17 years ago

    by Rose not your average

    This poem capture my full attention the whole way though i had a picture in my head! nice job

  • 17 years ago

    by Auspicious76

    OKay... first, I really liked this. It is full of pain and betrayal that reaches out to grip the reader and swirl them along in your emotions.
    But you have some SPAG problems (spelling, grammer, and punctuation) and some problems with your rhythme and flow.

    SPAG:
    They're acting as if a failure will (the) bring the schizophrenic down, (THE needs to be removed)

    There's so little to loose, and I'm sure I'm the one winning; (Lose)

    You've been (THE) worst thing that happened to me; even worse than the devil, it's true. (TOO MUCH... descriptives are tripping you up)

    FLOW: Too few syllables in first line or too many in the second. Syllable count is important to the flow and rhythm of any poem. if it is not correct or at least close, it stumbles the reader. Too many words can also stumble the reader so be careful that your descriptives don't trip you up.

    Oh, dear could this be true, like religion it's all a lie, (13 syllables)
    You fed me deceit like a too good desert that we eat too much and learn to despise. (21 syllables)
    We told the mind with such devilish lies that it was alright to be insane, (19 syllables)
    But you don't recover from a night just like this and it feels like you have to explain. (21 syllables)

    Remember, read your poem aloud and you will catch this. Count your syllables as you go along.

    I hope I was able to help

  • 17 years ago

    by Loved In Hell

    This was an osm write good job 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Richard Machado

    Absolutely fantastic! I sure did love it aswell; loved the revenge, and animosity.

    Great work, but a little sloppily organized. Keep up the exelent work!

    ~Richi~

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