Demon of my soul

by Jaded Serenity   May 25, 2007


The fiery walls that that encircle my soul
there so scalding hot.

not even my river of tears can put them out.

the vicious demon that chases me day in and day out.

he is so strong, so much bigger than me,
but i will not give up the fight

he is weakening, i know it.

he cannot fight forever, i can.
i am stronger, my defenses are up.

Ive got a good friend, a wonderful mother,
people who are there for me.

what has he got?
memories of past events

HA, i laugh in his face.
this angers him, he makes the fiery walls even hotter

but i will not give up
he will not consume my soul

***i have tried to improve my punctuation and grammar, please tell me what you think

    report violation
0


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Simple Sensation

    Hey,
    On the first line you repeted "that" twice.
    Anyways i enjoyed this poem. I liked the emotion youve placed in it.
    The structure could be improved in this though. Try making each of the lines the same length? It'll just look better to the yes at first glance. I know it shouldnt matter but it does. I liked your discription; "vicious demon" you can kinda see this demon in the minds eye. Butthis demon is inside. Very meaningful. Then you describe how your fighting this demon. Rather then sad i think this poem should be in Life catagorie, as your fighting it. Very inspirational if you ask me. I liked the end, im glad your not hletting him conssume your soul howveer bad it gets. :) Anyways punctuation, well its good but keep using it and itll keep improving. Just read it aloud, where do you want a pause? Where do you want it to speed up? And in the end of the poem your punctuation kinda feel again. Lol, just write the poem first then put punctuation in it. Not your best poem though. Keep writing. xx

More Poems By Jaded Serenity