200 milligrams of death

The gentle thud of my heart as it slams against my chest
The subtle energy bursts that cause my body to convulse
As the room I'm in begins to darken
I tell myself I can't go to sleep
For if I do I may never wake again

It started with just a couple everyday
Nothing big, I'd be fine just something to make the day go by
I could stop at anytime, I'd be fine
It soon became a struggle just to keep from taking them all
I was hooked and there was no going back

The day started with the normal 20 milligram hit
That way I could concentrate better
By lunch it had gone up to 80 but I was still ok
I didn't make it to fifth before it shot up to 120
By now my whole world seemed to be upside down

I made it home before I finally came face to face with him
My old friend I had only seen a couple times but never had we met
He arrived around 180 and left at 200
When he took his leave he had me close by
I didn't even realize I was too lost within the darkness

When I woke that day I had no way of knowing
It would be the last time I ever woke again
I let myself go and in the end paid the price
Death took me by the neck and dragged me off to hell
If only I could say goodbye one last time to those I love
If only I could just have one more hour to tell them all
That I won't see them again and I'm sorry for what I've done