Confused

I'm being cautious this time
carefully balancing on this love
watching my step
trying to figure out what he's really thinking of

Yes I'm really scared
but who wouldn't be?
It's my heart that's being juggled
and who knows if this is meant to be

I don't wanna get hurt
I repeat over and over again
but I see Mr. Heartache coming...
he's sadly becomes my friend

It's hard to know what's an illusion
what's real and what's fake
but I guess it's a huge risk
I've chosen to take

My heart is still guarded by a wall
that he's breaking a bit more each day
with a hammer called hope and sweet talk
and I'm weak to that... what can I say?

He knows he owns my heart
that I'm always gonna be there
I wish I could turn around and walk away
to see if he would actually care

My mind tells me
"walk away... say no!"
but unfortunately my heart's winning
and it tells me "wait a second longer... don't let go"

He says he wont hurt me
but he already did once before
I'm walking on loose string
should I stay or should I go?

I need him to prove to me
that he does really care
and to show me
that he'll always be there

I wanna feel safe
to know we'll be something more someday
that he's not messing with my heart
that he'll love me today, tomorrow, and everyday

but I have to face reality...
he ain't proving that to me
all he's doing is confirming my fear...
that this was never meant to be

I guess I'll have to wait
there's nothing more to do
I'm risking my heart once again
If you were me... would you?

Written: July 19, 2002