Those Girls That I Envy

When he sits here alone with me so flawlessly,
And he talks about the other girls so harmlessly,
He doesn't see the crystal tears in my blue eyes,
When I laugh through it with a pathetic disguise.

And those blonde girls from Hollywood get to him,
With their perfect smiles and waists so slim,
But me, I've got the curse of curves and it kills me,
Because I can't be the girl that he wants me to be.

I smile because it would hurt him to see me cry,
But he doesn't hear me praying to God asking why,
I can't be as beautiful as the girls he sees on TV,
And why a boy like him would settle for a girl like me.

But those words he says get under my pale skin,
As these tears roll down and fall off of my quivering chin,
And this disguise of mine is slowly falling apart,
Because I love him more with every beat of my heart -

And I know that I can't give him everything that he needs,
So I smile as big as I can, and maybe my smile misleads,
But if I act happy long enough for him to smile back at me,
He won't know it's the girls he calls beautiful that I envy.

-Jenna Elphick
May 26, 2007