His Secret.....that ruined my life

I force myself to SMILE because of you... i don't want you to see me crying but i can't , cause deep inside i'm dying .... you think i don't know your secret but i found out.... you plus her.... i act like i didn't know the secret i act like nothing has happen cause i love you and i don't want let you go .... i'm scared if i let go you will be gone forever and nobody will care about me anymore... i want to cry everytime you say you love me cause i know it's not true .... i want to cry so badly but i have to wait until you are asleep because i don't want you to see me cry ..... i feel so painful... why did i find his secret, now it has ruined my life ..... i don't think i should be with you anymore cause if i am with you, you will always be thinking of someone else not me .... why would i want a guy by my side that doesn't love me and pretends to cause they don't want to hurt me .... not telling me hurts me more... you just don't know cause you are not me ....