Um, i didnt like it, and i am not sure why. But that doesnt mean its not good, i just didnt relate to it, the flow was good and the wording was fine, but something didnt do it for me.
Love Tara-Kay

Omg! thats really good. i love how you repeat the last 2 lines over and over again. very well done 5/5

xo kisses xo

You are waiting for me to hop to bed;
Expecting that your greed will be fed.
You will take whenever you want but,
I am a bad girl as you can never know.
`I liked that stanza . "Greed will be fed." I like that .

There`s just something that I don`t like about it . The flow was good, and I liked the wording, but there`s just something empty . The repeated didn`t ruin it either . There`s just ... I didn`t like it o.o But nice job anyways .
..__MiNDYY

It was good hun. just something was missing...i dont know what, but something did, besides that..good job! =)
•Quiet One•

This was a very interesting poem and very unique, I loved how you repeated the last 2 lines of every stanza until the final two and then you threw in a twist. I loved the flow and the word choice. Excellent job 5/5

Hmm..this was obviously very well written for a start! it was quite like a story, i loved the way the last line was repeated at the end of every stanza, and the twist was good too, i like poems that have th inside message of 'us girls cannot be messed with by you boys' =] lol well this poem gave me that satisfaction =]
>You are waiting for me to hop to bed;
Expecting that your greed will be fed.<
^i loved these line 'greed' sounds just right! hahaha =]
nuff luv xx

Diffrent style, unigue subject, and a chilling story, wow that really was amazing. you did anexcellent job, the imagery was vivid the emtions powerful and the word choice was perfect 5/5 for an excellent write.

Hey dear,
this was another of your great work.
again, you have done a wonderful job, and i think the repeatation gave a nicer view to the poem.
keep it up like always.

Good but i think there was something missing....

Nice twist at the end great job x

Laura! ;]

Hi Sweetie,
I had a long comment all written out. Then my connection just disconnected me! Can you believe that? Anyway. I love the emotion in this poem. It's a perfect poem in my opinion. I already voted 5/5 on it. :] I think it's really amazing. Keep up the great work, love!

-Heather

Even if it wasn't my bar of chocolate, I actually adored the last stanza. It, nevertheless, bundled the whole piece effectively.

What a delightful, little twist!

A pleasurable read, nonetheless. all the best and take care.

Wow. This is a great poem. I loved the word choice and the flow was good. This was a strong poem. I gave it a 5/5.

Hi Laura - I thought this was really good!!! I read through some of the other comments and, yes, there was that detached feel about the poem, but I think that is what added to it - you see, you were describing the life of a prostitute (Im assuming as you never actually said it, but that is what I got out of it), and they will go through the act in a detached, unemotional way - and that came through in the poem - she'll feed his greed, she'll take his money, but she's a bad ass and she wont blink twice to knife him...

Anyway - well written. See you later. :)

Mo xxx

This was an interesting poem. I kept thinking in my mind, hmm I wonder where she's going with this. I liked it, however I wouldn't say this is your best piece.

"You are gazing [at] my bright red lips;" - I would change 'to' to 'at', because I just don't think it fits. It's as if you're going to say eyes "You are gazing [in]to my bright eyes" or something like that, and I think 'at' would work much better since you're talking about lips.

"You try to be brave as you see the thing but" - I didn't like this sentence. Sorry, but 'thing'? :| That's not imaginative. The 'thing' could be anything, and it gives absolutely no clue to what you are talking about, confusing the readers.

Overall, I still enjoyed the read. So good job.

I like the ending :) lol. The way you repeated 'I am a bad girl as you now actually know. ' was really effective! well done. Great vocab. Flow was flawless! keep it up! 5/5 as always :)

This poem has such an effect on people the repetition really emphasizes what you are saying and I love the twist at the end the flow was also very good.

This was a different style. I liked it, but I didn't love it like your other poems. It wasn't badly written or anything like that. The flow was good. I just think it was too repetitive && repetition wasn't effective in this poem. But all in all I give it a 4/5.

-Shannon <3

Wow ending was powerful i liked it 5/5

Woah that was extreme. but i wouldnt want it n e other way!! = )

Cory