Numb

Deep down in side i feel so lonely on the out side I'm judged by what i wear and how i act I fake a smile to hide my pain with my head held down in shame theres no place to do nowhere to hide the darkness is coming i can feel it in my heart i want torn away i want to get free but something keeps holding on to me i try to look but despair is blinding me and misery takes a chance to do a beating on me this time it came rough and it wont go away its happened before look at me now a disgrace some thing the dog brings around so don't worry about me i don't matter so don't show me your sorrow you think you know me and you think you know how i feel well you don't my heart hits my stomach as i fall to my knees and my tears start pouring out like the rain that wants to be free my lost soul wants to be found to be caught by fate the hope is all gone every thing good turned out wrong i sit curled up in a ball wishing away it all just another chance to be happy not for a little while but all the time my emotions go cold my body is numb my pain is covered by fear disturbing messages enter in I'm used to being alone so go ahead and help it by making me feel like you just don't Care under stand so do no more damage god did this for a reason because me I'm a sinner so don't worry you just can't change me i am who i am so go ahead and judge my i don't care any more just let me go i hate being so confused i want to be free so despaire let go of me i know i can't fight off misery but i can run away from all my fears theres nowhere to go why cant i move while darkness chews my last happy moment and spits it out my anger builds up o want to explode i cut down deeper digging down in my soul the blade of sadness over powered me my anger put away i walk to reality and my heart starts to pound i take a breath and scream "Why Me"