It caught my eye,
And wouldn't let go.
The knife was staring at me again,
I was just standing there.
Trying not to notice it's shine,
It's lure,
It's temptation,
It's seduction.
It wants me,
As bad as I want it.
Forbidden love,
Twisted thoughts cross my mind.
Images of self torture,
A brush with death.
Evil memories,
They haunt me.
The knife,
I want to hold it.
And be in control,
For once.
If you can't stand the heat,
Get out of the kitchen.
Boiling water,
Scowls my skin.
My past ramblings,
Don't make sense.
Not even to me,
Not anymore.
Swollen eyes,
From crying.
No amount of pain,
Can stop my pen from writing.
It fuels it,
I will never be happy.
Never be at peace,
Or so it seems.
We are all so lucky to be here,
But no one asked me if I wanted to live.
To be born, to be the "Lucky one",
I'd gladly give my place to one more willing to live.
To all those potential brothers and sisters,
Long gone.
Things might have been better,
Who knows?
All I know is I'm here,
And I get to choose now.
If I want to be or not,
And I don't.
