Same old song and dance

I am running out of things to say
How much longer can I complain
Seventy plus poems later
And my life is still the same

Living day after day
And week after week
How much longer will I put up with
Broken promises and defeat

Will I live forever
Longing for something more
Or will I find a will and the way
To walk out of the door

Will I move on
And make my dreams come true
Or will I continue
Thinking of the memory of me and you

Will I stop feeling guilty
For not being in love with him
And take the final stand
And go back to my
long lost love and friend

What have I done so wrong
To deserve this punishment
What do I have to do
To gain forgiveness and repent

How many steps do I need to take
To freely let my feeling show
I keep on finding slamming doors
No matter which direction I go

They say that love will lead you back
But I am not much of a believer
For I am trying everything
And still coming up as a deceiver

I need to come back home to you
I don't want to wait another day
I cannot take the chance
On letting this slip away

You have been there for me
For years and years on end
I have been so lucky
To still have you as a friend

I need to sweep you up
Before it is too late
You are the love of my life
You are my destiny and my fate

We still reminisce
About the days gone by
We laugh and we joke
But when we hang up, I cry

I miss you so much
More than you will ever know
But I make a fool of myself
When I let my feelings show

I feel like a prisoner
Trapped in my own life
I pretend to keep on breathing
Despite the weakening of my fight

Some days it is easier
To just play out my role
A frigid, lonely women
Who no longer has a soul.

I feel like I am six feet under
But I keep living day to day
Trying to figure out the escape plan
Desperately wanting to run away

Some days I believe I am living in hell
With no other way to describe
Why can he not recognize
The teardrops in my eyes

Why can he not hear the coldness
When I speak to him
Why won't he just walk away
Why will he not give in

Why won't he release me
For I have paid my dues
It is time for me to start living
It is time for me and you.........