The one she hates - the one that she hates

The poems lacks emotion. It is wonderfully penned, well-rhymed. It just is... bare. It's lacking the necessities it needs to strike the reader cold at the end of your poem with awe. Good story line, but make it more personal... make it so the reader can feel what the killer girl is feeling. The key to a poem is not just bringing the reader through the motions, but bringing the reader through the emotions.

Still, well done m'dear =]

5/5
~Stephen White

Very well done, good rhymes, it flows great. I actually wrote a poem a lot like this one. But yeah, not the point. I liked it a lot, it didn't show very much of how the girl was feeling, but it was good. 5/5

Great job! =)

This is my favourite one
really get the story and meaning