Fairytale

by StillxBreathing   May 28, 2007


Haven't you always told me,
The hero's supposed to win?
Evil always looses
Forced to leave the end.

But now the story's different
Princes left to cry
My love gone, and missing
As the dragons fly

Babies snatched and taken
From mothers outstretched hands
Is it possible we're dying,
In a heathen land?

Stepping over bodies
Left over from fight scenes
Alone with all these curses
Potions and Magic rings.

My good guy isn't winning
Love doesn't conquer all
The worlds lost and broken
Kingdoms die and fall.

Reverse this spell I'm under
No more witch attacks
Save me from this fairytale
Let my love come back.

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Bradley Peter

    Right, I'm going to be totally honest with you. The first stanza wasn't very strong at all due to the rhyme. The other stanzas have simular issues. I think, in general the stanzas would only need a few tweaks to make them so much stronger. It's not just the examples you use, but also the words. I must say though, the strongest stanza for me was stanza five, because it not only had a good flow and rhyme, but it was also strong worded.

    Brad

  • 14 years ago

    by victoria

    A very good twist on a realisitic fairytale.

    great job.

    victoria

  • 16 years ago

    by ngaiobeck

    Sorrowful plea,with an eerie twist.

  • 16 years ago

    by Jaimee

    AMAZING! Love love love it.

  • 17 years ago

    by Ch!ld~of~Darkness

    I liked this poem, it was neet, i liked the way you wrote it, it made me actually think about what I've beeen told as a kid. Neways keep up the awsome work

    Ch!ild~of~Darkness

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