I liked this poem, it was neet, i liked the way you wrote it, it made me actually think about what I've beeen told as a kid. Neways keep up the awsome work

Ch!ild~of~Darkness

AMAZING! Love love love it.

Sorrowful plea,with an eerie twist.

A very good twist on a realisitic fairytale.

great job.

victoria

Right, I'm going to be totally honest with you. The first stanza wasn't very strong at all due to the rhyme. The other stanzas have simular issues. I think, in general the stanzas would only need a few tweaks to make them so much stronger. It's not just the examples you use, but also the words. I must say though, the strongest stanza for me was stanza five, because it not only had a good flow and rhyme, but it was also strong worded.

Brad