Why? (free verse)

I remember your smile
How you smell and the way you laughed
I remember when you were actually happy
When he wasn't around
Why did things get so bad
I wish it would have been me taking the beatings
I could see the depression and anger in you eyes
That night I will never forget
What came over him was insane
Why didn't he get help
Why didn't u get away
I remember the gun shots now
He ran to the kitchen and shot himself
I blacked out and didn't hear it
I cried cause I couldn't get you to wake up
WHY? Mom, why aren't you here now?