"I won't make [assumtions]" - assumptions.

I think that it needs more coherent details. It seems to be a mere portion of an even greater poem, so I'd suggest you to expand it. On the other hand, it certainly never failed to give a sense of mild interest in me. I quite liked it. Nice work. 5/5

My smile was my toy
[[Alakjgoaisjdoasmcsa. I love that line! I don't know how to express my joy for that line! alkgjalsjfcl]] [[Puts it as her msn name.]] Yes!

Anyways.
I'm composed.
I love, love, love the first two stanzas. But. The ending just....no. I didn't feel it as much as I did the other two.
And. I really think you would do well doing form poetry and rhyming. Your description is very good and you're not cliche at all, so, try it. If you want more information, feel free to PM me.

Nicely done, thank you for sharing.

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex 5.5

Wow..i like it