Hey,
an awesome poem, I love everything except for one small part thats that you use the word 'she' a lot of times..I dont know if you could change it,, well that just my opinion =)
good poem though you definitely deserve a 5/5 from me!
kisses stephanie

This is great very well written good job

keenan

Hey, Bryan, this is a nicely written piece of work. In fact, I love Pantoums. And this is no exception to the rule. =]

"as the moonlight begins to rise
She watches it as it sits in the sky"

Interesting couplet you have there, specially the way you personified the moon sitting in the sky. But--wait a minute!--the moonlight doesn't have to rise because it merely is the light from the MOON, is it not? Err, I'm puzzled.

In any case, it was a delightful read. I find it quite darkish, though.

-Debbie Cakes! (^^,)

Bryan, Once again amazing. The style was capturing as were your words. Portrayed sadly with a touch of darkness. Truely an enjoyable read. Well done on this. ~mel

Bryan
Excellent job on this form of poetry :) You always amaze me how you pull these off so well.

Take care Cindy

Okay, I think it's lovely... need I say more?

I also think field of innocence 2 was great, I would have commented on that but whenever I look at a love poem I get logged out.

I liked the rhyming scheme that you used in this poem. The flow was very nice and I liked the word choice. I this one a 5/5.

Amazing another excellent poem

Great job Bryan. I have to catch up on some of your poems. I like this style and you did it beautifully! =] 5/5 as always babe!