by 1Mistake Jun 1, 2007
category :
Sadness, depression /
about depression
Her soul is apathetic, numb, unfeeling.. |
by Nix
You could use some metaphors to make deeper atmosphere and describe your feelings on a better way and lines should be similar size, I think you have a 15 words in one and just 4 words in the next line and that really leaves bad impression. Other, this poem is written nicely, I like the idea of whole piece. |