I Stand

It's hard to live my life
Always crying transparent tears
Bleeding invisible blood
It's hard when no one sees
That I want to be me
Always being knocked down
Pushed, shoved
Not knowing how to fight back
Or defend myself
It's hard only wanting a friend
But being tricked and teased
Embarrassed, humiliated
Misunderstood
It's hard being picked apart
Judged, stereotyped
It's hard not knowing how to say no
Just doing what everyone wants
Following orders not knowing how to live
I lived unaware of the darkness
The beauty of death
It was hard... until I met him
It was easy to fall into his lies
To believe he loved me
That he cared
It was easy to look into his eyes
To listen to his calming words
It was easy knowing I could fall back
And he would catch me
It was easy to believe he'd always be there
To kiss me, hold me, take care of me
I didn't know what life was
He loved me and that's all that mattered
It was easy until I saw him with her
Nights were spent crying wishing for death
Days were spent bleeding with a blade
I realized what pain was
I finally felt something but I didn't like it
No words of comfort were said
No hugs or It'll get betters
It was painful to see my mistakes
To see he was a fake
It was heart breaking to see his lies
Time went on with no one to care
I had had enough
I learned to say no
To stand up for myself
By myself
So here I'm standing
By myself
Wishing for some one that cared
I stand forever my legs aching
Not knowing how to say yes
But with no one to say yes to
What's the point

No Blade Cuts Deeper Than That Of Betrayal!

Written: July 30, 2001