Eyes will never meet.

by Miu   Jun 2, 2007


Waiting for the train.
On the rainy day, I stay.
An umbrella covering my face,
As I look up, train stops on rocky trace.
The clouds break, clear up in skies.
Sun comes out, a perfect day appears.
When he steps off the wagon, dressed oh so sweet,
We glance at one another, but our eyes will never meet.
Feeling your presance, It's almost hard to breath,
Same place, same time, it'll always be.
I know you would come to be with me.
The secret lays, crowd will never know our dreams.
The passion, too great for everyone to see.
Still our eyes, they will never meet.
It's too special to be real.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by ali

    Simple and honest stuff, i really liked this one!!!
    great stuff
    xxx love from ali xxx
    5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by UnToLd TrUtH

    I loved this poem! Every simple wich i liked. 5/5

    <UnToLd TrUtH>

  • 17 years ago

    by Fluffy

    Good piece on the whole again, but some minor adjustments would help improve this a little:

    "when he steps out of the wagon, dressed all sweet,
    But our eyes, they will never meet." - this does not make sense. I think this should be changed to: "When he steps off the wagon, dressed oh so sweet, we glance at one another, but our eyes will never meet".

    "Feeling your present,"- change the word 'present' to 'presance'.

    Hmm. Other than that. Good write. Well done

  • 17 years ago

    by The DaveJon

    Very down to earth and solid. The scheme did have a hiccup in the middle, and I had to reread that section, but an overall good poem.

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