Gone Forever (Minute Poem)

by Anaisthitos   Jun 3, 2007


The blood rolls down her colorless cheek
Her body's week
She sharply gasps
Her lungs collapse

Her vision fades, everything blurs
Memories stir
She lays, hallow
Her veins wallow

Her pulse pounds its last couple beats
In extreme heat
She's gone, she's dead
Her dignity's shred

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Minute Poetry is formatted into 3 stanzas of 8,4,4,4; 8,4,4,4; 8,4,4,4 syllables.
The rhyme scheme is as follows: aabb, ccdd, eeff

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Simple Sensation

    I liked this. It has a good flow to it and the words worked well. This "colorless cheek" i like how you said that. You didnt say it was pale so you didnt say the most obvious thing but you kinda twisted the words and even though you meant the same thing you ddidnt exactly say it. I like how you did that. Formed poetry usually has a really great flow and the rhyme scheme works well. You didnt disapoint. One hting about this poem is that sad poems are usually reallly emotional. This one talks about suicide and i can see what your saying. But it didnt seem to have much emotion in it. Your describing the death, yet it doesnt have what feelings ran through the girls head. But still a good read. Keep writing! xx

  • 17 years ago

    by xxSnow Angelxx

    Wow!Beautiful poem..Really touching..Deep powerful!...It created a very deep clear picture...excellently described scene!
    Great job!
    5/5
    xxPoojaxx

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