I dont know why

Type your thoughts down
In poem format
Keyboard makes that tapping sound
3 am there's more to laugh at
Lots to ponder
More to fear
The winds been blowing cold this year
The only word to rhyme is "wander"
And what a stupid word to use
But of course I can't refuse
Because my poem's cheaply made
And I'm a poet poorly paid
For once my thoughts are flowing free
Is it taurine or is it me?
Sleep deprived
But still alive
A worthless way to end my day
But today was worthless anyway
Music doesn't sooth my mood
It only fuels the attitude
Makes my weak emotion stronger
Makes the anger last much longer
Take the headphones off and pray
God, give me guidance the easy way
Send a righteous heaven word
So holy loud it must be heard
No words are ringing in my ears
I'll do what I've done all these years
Read the Bible and keep praying
Listen what the preachers saying
Know that Jesus loves me so
I have assurance when I go
I'm still awake but I'll end it now
My creativeness just won't allow
My words to flow much longer
Maybe someday I'll be stronger
With my poems and my rhymes
But I just can't do this all the time