"You in your spring, while I in my fall
May dine playfully in the summer's heat
Ignoring our commitment to divine order
As the angels turn a blind eye to our sins"

Sheer brilliance. It has been a while since I've said that about anyone’s poetry. I'm glad it was yours, Sir. I adore the way in which you have used such powerful and profound imagery to aid in ones understanding of this piece. A delicate and engaging piece, very well done.

A well written poem that I regret to inform was killed by its lack of punctuation. I had no clue where I was going, no direction throughout to know how to react at the end of the line. I enjoyed it, though. Your description was soft, but well instituted. I enjoyed your originality, but I believe that you could have expanded the whole concept of this... The infatuation or relationship.

Personally, I did enjoy this poem but....... It didn't hit me. It's ending was bare... just stripped down. It kind of just ended, not particularly extravagant in any way.

I suggest you work on your endings so it leaves the reader with an: A) Sense of Satisfaction, B)A sense of Awe or Pleasure, or C)A sudden high strung emotion of Horror or Amazement.

=] Other than that, your words were wonderful and rhyming unforced. Good job

=]
5/5
~Stephen White

This is a very deep poem, i love poems that have to do with nature, i love the way you put your feelings to words...very talented...5/5

"You in your spring, while I in my fall
May dine playfully in the summer's heat
Ignoring our commitment to divine order
As the angels turn a blind eye to our sins"
^^loved this stanza...excellent write...simple yet profound
very powerful imagery...i liked this write...Well penned!
Great job!
5/5
xxPoojaxx

Sir this one too is very good, I can feel the love that is in it, when you mention the breeze I can feel it myself.

I love this...great imagery.felt it
The bit about spring and fall was my favourite bit
beautiful
xxxx

A very beautiful piece, My friend.
A very touching poem, with good imagery, the wording was flawless.
Keep up your brilliant work
love Tara-Kay
x

Thank-you very much for the comment on my poem "dreams and reality". I am so sorry to be returning the favor so late. I'm sorry but your poem is no interest of mine. You have a good description sure, but for a poem to be truly good it needs to properly rhyme. It's very good that you had even stanzas and, a rhyme scheme for the last stanza, but it felt like each stanza was a seperate poem all together. And it didn't end right either. It was one of those that are too short and leave you hanging. I do like meaning behind it though. I can tell you that much. I'm so sorry if this is offending but my whole thing is honesty. I wouldn't be the poet I am now if it wasn't for the harsh critisism I recieved myself. I am sure this is not your best piece.

God bless

~skittles

Aweuhh this is a great poem. i really liked it! great job! 5/5!

It was like a fairytale love and I liked how you expressed the age difference as fall and spring
It was so sweet and cute

Beatifully penned,
Laura

Ps:What do you think of a collab with me?I think it would be gorgeus
Let me know michael