Aww thats very well written and very very heart wrenching :( it really does reach out and thank you for writing this you have a very good talent and should be proud, please keep writing more xxxxxxx

Wow this poem is amazing ... the whole story is just so touching and i love the ending.. i love how you build up the suspense and you never know what is really going on in the poem until the end.. i really like how a lot of questions are asked and no answers are given until the very end.. very nicely written.. excellent job.. keep it up =]

This poem is fantastic, I really liked the emotion in everyline but how you also managed to keep the ending a secret. I like how you used "sis" over and over again because the little boy is frantic he doesn't know what's happening so he's always yelling "sis, sis". Excellent job great flow and great ending 5/5

It was great. You said some of things over and over again which took away from it I thought. It is still a good story and the flow was nice. I gave it a 5/5.

Very well written! It was very sad and deep. I could feel the emotion going on through the child's head, I could feel the confusion and lonlieness and panic. The way you repeated 'sis' was good, too, though I would tone it down a bit. You repeated some of the lines often and your vocabulary was lacking. All in all, it was great! 4/5 Keep up the good work!

Wow a very emoitional poem.. its sad and has a lot of meaning i like it alot kepp up the good work

This is a sad poem, but i know it happens everyday..i liked the way you wrote even though i think that the word "sis" was in there alot...5/5 keep it up...

Beautiful poem...very well penned...simple,long yet had so much f emotions protrayed in this story-ish write..though the word "sis"was repeated a little lot..though it does add to the emotion the boy is going through ...well this poem was well written!
=)
5/5
Kp up the good job!

xxPoojaxx

Wow that was really sad.
i loved the 2nd to last stanza about the big flat stone.
you did a really good job showing the emotion of the story.
good work!

Some of the repetition wasn't as effective as it could've been. I do like the emotional aspect and appeal though. I might not like the repetition and some of the words but considering view point it actually fits to add to the emotions. An interesting ending.
~TETNL

I found this story to be interesting, Although the repetition was a little too much in some places and not as effective. The emotions were strong though and portrayed nicely. The ending quite interesting. A well written story. Quite an enjoyable read. Well done with this~mel

Ooh i loved it...at first i was thinking...i think this is about the halocaust but the sisters seperated so that cant be...so then i realized what it was about and it was awesome =D

10/5

So totally sad written with great emotion well done

but im some what confused as to the lady? it sounded like the main character was being put into care? if you could pm me id be grateful...

Kris,

I took pleasure in reading this piece. I can see that the repetition wasn't as proficiently done as the idea and tone of voice employed, whereas the overall development was pretty well-organized until the finale. The beginning was much compelling than the ending, though. Still... I liked it on the basis of the poet's insight of the circumstance. All the best. :]

Take care,
Marian