by Anaisthitos Jun 3, 2007
category :
Sadness, depression /
lost relationships
Every day I'm waiting |
A sad and emotional read about grief at the loss of osmeone important to you. Your rhyme scheme was good but some of them seemed a little cliche. Your vocabulary was quite simple, and easily understandable. The rfirst two stanza's have a good flow but it gets a little sketchy at the third. i think this could of worked in the love poem section as well. Your emotion and how you feel about this person is displayed really well in this read. Sturture of the poem was ok. To improve it work on the rhymes you use and use a varied punctuation. But a good read non the less. Keep wriitng! xx |
by Baby Rainbow
Very good poem well done for this work you should be proud of it xxxxxxx |