I Love You.

by Anaisthitos   Jun 3, 2007


She lay next to what's left of him
Imperceptibly stroking his shoulder
His face was twisted in a struggling grin
His body fatally getting colder

He took sharp breaths, pacingly
She panicked between each one
She held his chest, embracingly
Her pain only just begun

She shook and cried and drooled about
Her hair matted in her sweat
But he was gone, she had no doubt
His eyes fell back in his head

He was empty, his neck askew
She muttered, weakly, "I love you."

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Zeus

    I loved the imagery in this piece. Great flow. Great writing. 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by my name is Llama

    This is so sad. i have never actually read a poem of someone dying in ones arms like this. i hope this isn't true. i feel for anyone who has had this happen to them.
    this is my fav lines:
    But he was gone, she had no doubt
    His eyes fell back in his head

    He was empty, his neck askew
    She muttered, weakly, "I love you."

    well done
    xoxo

  • 17 years ago

    by Fsams

    Excellent piece of poetry written in the 3rd person pronouns. I liked the flow and the very beautiful emotions in it. The heading I love you is used mournfully in this piece. 5/5 all the way

    With love
    Fsams

  • 17 years ago

    by Monica AKA Mika

    Wow this was a short but very well written poem. its sad and i like the way you described the two of them it just makes me imagine myself with them...great pen

  • 17 years ago

    by nikki

    Wow. omg i loved it, you are an amazing writer. i loved the flow i loved the structure, it all just worked for me with this one. the words you use are great and you create such a strong picture in my mind. great work, 5/5

    He was empty, his neck askew
    She muttered, weakly, "I love you."

    my fave lines ^^

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