That was good it had alot of emotion put into it~
Good Job 5/5

Great immagery :]

deep.

"His body, getting colder"
you could put like slowly or inevitably in there just to make it flow slightly better

btw. what happened to him?

This is a very heartfelt poem. It is defintely written from the soul and the pain of losing a loved one. It wrenches at the heart. The flow and the descriptions are wonderful! The poem overall is great. The feelings behind it are things that no one ever wants to feel, but you describe them wonderfully. 5/5 for sure

Much Love,
.:Danielle:.

Aww, the pain was so deep, so vivid, i could picture the two people in my head, see the tears, the pain and the heartache.
an awesome write
love Tara-Kay
xxxx

So very sad, but extremely well written. Short but to the point... word choice was much better in this poem-- noticeably more varied.

A great read.

Aww this is very sad. i do like it tho. short but to the point. 5/5

Wow. omg i loved it, you are an amazing writer. i loved the flow i loved the structure, it all just worked for me with this one. the words you use are great and you create such a strong picture in my mind. great work, 5/5

He was empty, his neck askew
She muttered, weakly, "I love you."

my fave lines ^^

Wow this was a short but very well written poem. its sad and i like the way you described the two of them it just makes me imagine myself with them...great pen

Excellent piece of poetry written in the 3rd person pronouns. I liked the flow and the very beautiful emotions in it. The heading I love you is used mournfully in this piece. 5/5 all the way

With love
Fsams

This is so sad. i have never actually read a poem of someone dying in ones arms like this. i hope this isn't true. i feel for anyone who has had this happen to them.
this is my fav lines:
But he was gone, she had no doubt
His eyes fell back in his head

He was empty, his neck askew
She muttered, weakly, "I love you."

well done
xoxo

I loved the imagery in this piece. Great flow. Great writing. 5/5