Keep Your Homewreckin' Hands Off My Baby

That cheap little homewrecker from two doors down,
With her blond hair, fake eyelashes and bright blue eyes,
Is spreading her name and her love all around town,
And covering all the married men in her pitiful little lies.

With a miniskirt and tight shirt wrapped around her,
She walked her tanned legs right up to my man,
Tripping over her own two feet, she started to slur,
As she held out her hand, introducing herself as Cheyanne.

And I walked right up to her, looking at the stories in her eyes,
As I held out my hand and introduced myself as his wife,
Her eyes went all wide as she lost control of her disguise,
And I said: "Honey, I've known girls like you all of my life -

Walking around as fake as those famous Hollywood girls,
But you get a false claim to fame under the bed sheets,
And a girl like you would prefer to be draped in diamonds and pearls,"
I took a breath and looked at her as she looked at me in defeat -

"So back up and walk yourself back home to a different guy,
Because this one here, he's staying devoted to only me,
And I'm sorry for throwing all your tattered hopes up to the sky,
But from now on, keep your homewreckin' hands off my baby!"

And I never seen that girl around my yard again after that day,
But in the beauty parlor there was talk of her name,
"Keep your homewreckin' hands off my baby!" Is what they all say,
Talking of the day that I rose my own nine words to fame.

-Jenna Elphick
June 3, 2007