The Darkness

Comment me if it is good or bad.

Hmm, you have some raw talent. :) If you just file it around the edges you will have an amazing piece of work. For one, USE PUNCUATION! That's like the number 1 rule in writing poetry. It shows that you care about your poetry... by making it not only sound good but look good. For example:

i write my feelings
through this pen
understand the meaning
of my world within

It sounds good, yes. But I doesn't please the eye and have the same effect.

I write my feelings,
Through this pen.
Understand the meaning,
Of my world within.

Looks much better. Also, try not to use "I" as a begining of sentence... it's just bad. :) Okay... Lets see... I think to spice it up a little ... add rhyme. For example: your first stanza:

I sit in my room
I feel angry
Hating my life
Every day of it

Try:

As I sit in my room,
Anger creeps upon me.
Hatred, for everything.
I only yearn to be free.

Make your sentences a wee bit longer and use a wider vocabulary. And you will become an amazing writer Tyler.

I'm adding you to my favorites, not because you asked me to, but because I believe that you can become a great poet. I can't wait to see your poetry improve!

Excellent Job For A Beginning Poet

You Have Talent

Shape It Up

5/5